LORENA GULKIN, a trailer park "sex therapist," has finally landed her golden ticket to a life of luxury as the future wife of wealthy JASUR ERDOGAN. Unfortunately, Jasur's twin brother AZAMAT, a Kyrgyzstanese mobster, objects to his brother not "marrying up" and threatens to expose Lorena's sordid and criminal past to Jasur in order to derail the wedding.

In desperation, Lorena kills Azamat. Now she has to dispose of the body. But how? She spots Azamat's parked Cadillac and decides to dump his body in it for the authorities to discover. Her first attempt is thwarted by DEPUTY TYRELL who is looking to arrest Azamat. Tyrell informs Lorena that a "boot" has been placed on the Cadillac to prevent Azamat from escaping.

Lorena's second attempt is foiled when her matchmaking mother TESS shows up. Lorena unhappily agrees to go to church on Sunday in order to get Tess to leave so she can dispose of Azamat's body.

Just as it appears she's going to succeed, she's caught by her crossdressing brother WENDELL who dresses up at Lorena's for fear that Tess will catch him if he dresses at home. Desperate to get rid of the body, Lorena threatens to expose Wendell unless he helps her. As the two struggle to get Azamat's body past MRS. CLAUSWITZ, the trailer park gadfly, Lorena's landlord MURV "the Perv" AKINS shows up to collect the rent... or an equivalent "pound of flesh" he leers.

A hectic sequence of events unfold as the Azamat's THUGS appear, searching for their boss, Murv awaits a promised threesome with Lorena and her "sister," and Tess returns in full matchmaking mode with CONWAY FESS, one of the eligible bachelors from church... who carries a dark secret.

Can Lorena succeed in covering up her crime and make her dreams of "happily ever after" with Jasur come true?